The Elements of Persuasion

Five Paths to Persuasion

The most powerful way to persuade people is to tell them a story they will remember and tell again. Here is how to do it:

* Passion: Start by asking “what do I really care most about?” If you are passionate about your new idea, product or service chances are the audience will catch your passion the same way they catch the flu. Passion is a contagion and it spreads quickly. Your passion needs to authentic. If the audience thinks your acting solely out of self interest-you’re done.
* Hero: You are the hero. The hero’s job is to make the audience see what you see. Pull the audience into your world. Make them see your message from the inside out. Help them see it through your eyes and as if they were standing in your shoes.
* Obstacle: Define clearly the obstacle or problem facing your audience? How does your new idea help them overcome it? You and your new idea are the hero, mounted on a great white steed. , You have a lance in your hand and you’re charging ahead to slay the dragon. Before you charge make sure that you and your audience share the same dragon. Ask yourself “what is the dragon that keep me up at night?” does it keep my audience up as well? If you can slay that dragon you’re on your way to success.
* Awareness: Does your idea bring something new to solving the audience’s problem? What insights are imbedded in your message? What lessons can the audience take away and use again? Does your audience nod in agreement as you discuss your solutions or do they remain stone silent?
* Transformation: How will your idea change the audience for the better? How will they be different by using your idea? What is transformational about your message?

The more you can turn your message into a story the more likely your message will succeed.  Successful stories make an audience feel as well as think. This is crucial because as neuroscience has discovered; stories are easier to recall than facts alone because they implant themselves in our memory.

Keys to the Kingdom

I just got off the phone with Gary an unhappy friend of mine. He heads up a cutting edge architectural firm. He was disappointed to learn that his hand picked team just lost a big account, which they thought was in the bag.  Gary was granted a rare postmortem. The corporate reps said they really liked his designs. However they went with his competitor because they were blown away by their presentation.  “Your team appeared clunky and awkward. They gave us lots of data but no story.  When the other team presented they were having fun. They were graceful and they made us feels like we were involved in a beautiful ballet.” This is rare and invaluable feedback only given because Gary’s firm is held in high esteem. What are the jewels of wisdom to be recovered from the mud of defeat?

I know the members of Gary’s team. They’re all bright creative people and they work damn hard. All their effort was fruitless because they were doing what they had been taught to do in school.  Gary’s team was presenting a clear and logical thinking path without emotionally engaging their audience. Facts became weights around their necks. The more they struggled to be rational, the deeper they sank. What they had failed to do was to know and move their audience.

Great presenters study audiences. They understand what audiences want. What they want is what we all want; to be surprised; to be transported into another world. Successful presenters create an emotionally charged community where presenter and audience share a common experience. Facts alone can never transport an audience into the heart of the story. Passion and vitality are the keys to the kingdom.  The word emotion comes from Latin and it means “To stir up and to move” which is exactly what Gary’s team must learn to do in order to win the next account.

What Makes Us Heroes

This week is the twentieth anniversary of Tiananmen Square. For five weeks students from many Chinese Universities had collected in Tiananmen Square. They were peacefully demanding more human rights. The protests had been going on for over five weeks. The Chinese Government grew afraid they were loosing control.  On the evening of June 3ed 1989 Chinese officials sent in tanks and personal carriers. They broke up the protest by crushing and shooting students in their sleep. The next morning the Square was empty. The only thing that remained were the tanks. As they were attempting to move back to their base a lone man, carrying two shopping bags appeared in the middle of the road and blocked the tanks. People on the scene were sure he would be killed. Yet as mysteriously as he appeared he suddenly melted into the crowd and to this day he has never been identified.. Fortunately his courageous actions were recorded by journalists and what emerged is one of the most powerful and iconic pictures of the twentieth century. The picture is known as “Tank Man” and it has been reproduced millions of times around the world. This picture has been reported to change countless lives by inspiring others to take courageous actions. It inspired students in East Berlin to begin to destroy the Berlin Wall.
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What are the essential qualities that all heroes both real and fictional share? Heroes provide the audience with a clear point of view. In other words they take a stand. Or they expand their territory. Churchill took a stand against Hitler in 1939 when many other ministers wanted only to placate Germany. It was no accident that soon after taking his stand Churchill became Prime Minister. Another universal quality is that a hero’s actions are not primarily motivated by self interest. Joseph Campbell has said, “When we stop thinking primarily of ourselves and our own self-preservation, we undergo a truly heroic transformation of consciousness” (1948).

People don’t have to do spectacular things to be heroic. A close friend of mine is an example of an everyday hero. She works in the field of mental health. Everyday she faces frightened and angry patients, who can act in ways that make themselves and others miserable and ill. Facing that audience everyday and moving these people into a healthier way of life is heroic.  My friend is acquiring the ability to gently hold her ground as she guides patients toward greater self understanding and compassion. This is what true heroes do they help us remember what’s good about being alive and their actions point the way.

 

Terms of Endearment

Terms of Endearment is still a terrific film. It won 5 Academy Awards and even though it was made almost 30 years ago and it still stands up. John Lithgow plays the part of Sam Burns a very shy Iowa bank official. He falls in love with the married Debra Winger and has a brief affair.
Parts of the film were shot in the Midwest and the director used local extras. Lithgow says that before he was ready to shot his first scene he walked around town studying how locals behaved. He observed closely how they talked, walked and what they were wearing. By chance he met a local bank official. Lithgow began speaking with the banker when he noticed the shoes the man was wearing. They were two tone brown and cream wing tips. Lithgow new instinctively that they were the shoes he needed to wear. He told the astonished official that he needed the shoes immediately and paid a handsome price to the delighted man.

Lithgow said that literally walking in this man’s shoes helped him let go of the “sophisticated actor” playing a role. Lithgow wanted to become that banker from the inside out. He wanted to see and experience what his character was thinking and feeling.
In order to accomplish that level of empathy Lithgow had to let go of his own ways of behaving and walk a mile in another mans shoes. This letting go of one perspective and adopting another point of view gave Lithgow the freedom and power to express himself with authenticity. 

One need not be an actor to take advantage of this strategy. Changing perspectives helps people gain knowledge. The ability to see the world through an others eyes is a uniquely human skill and like any skill it needs to be practiced as much as possible.
So the next time you are in a quandary about someone else, take a John Lithgow moment.  Observe the person closely while suspending your own judgment. Be daring enough to walk in the other guys shoes.

Brain vs. Brawn

"It is my simple mission: to help everyone in our company understand the power of a relationship.   In almost every account we have ever lost, if we look back it is due to somewhere along the way we lost touch with the relationship."

These words were written by a coaching client of mine, Barbara, She has recently been promoted to regional VP at a fortune 100 company and her words resonate with the truth of experience. Barbara is a warrior who loves to move into the trenches with her people and get up close and personal when helping them solve problems. Barbara builds relationships not because she is  nice, kind, and compassionate. She actually is all of those things. She builds and nurtures relationships because she uses her brain. Barbara is a pragmatic warrior who has been through countless battles with competitors, clients and upper management. Her philosophy of relationship building is based on what works. Her strategy will beat out more aggressive, brutish approaches over the long haul every time. But why does her strategy work?

Resent brain research suggests that the human brain is not so much a “thinking brain” but a relationship making brain. Dr. Gerald Huther, who leads the Dept. of Neurobiology at the Psychiatric Clinic of Gottingen, Germany, says “Until quite recently, it was held to be self-evident that human beings have a big brain to make it possible for them to think. However, the research results of the last years have made it clear that the structure and function of the human brain is especially optimized for building relationships. Our brain is thus much more a social organ than it is a thinking organ.”

Our brain has evolved over millions of years and our closest ancestors, the great apes, have much to teach us. Apes will fight and even kill members of other tribes who try to invade their territory. However, when scientists observe these animals in the wild they report that for the majority of time these animals spend much more time cooperating then fighting. Great apes have learned that building relationships increases the chance of success for all members of the community. By cooperating and specializing on essential tasks like food gathering, rearing the young and watching for dangerous invaders, they all benefit.

Barbara is using her brain when she pays attention to building these interpersonal networks and she reminds her team that relationships take constant attention. She knows that especially in times of stress, building and strengthening relationships will win out over blame and got’cha behavior every time.

Invest in Play

Its official-play is not frivolous. In fact, play makes people smarter and more resistant to the paralysis of fear. Dr. Stuart Brown has devoted his professional life to studying play. He took two populations of rat pups and deprived one group from playing. When the rats matured he exposed both populations to the scent of a cat. Both groups fled and hid. The group that was not play deprived slowly came out of hiding, sniffing around for the cat and eventually re-established a normal routine. The play deprived group never came out of hiding. They starved rather than returning to above ground activities. In autopsies Brown discovered that play deprived rats had smaller brains.

A playful attitude at work and life is a huge advantage during a crisis. When people are playful they signal that different feelings and ideas are OK to discuss. A playful environment encourages creativity and innovation. Maybe that is why Google and Microsoft have rooms filled with games; from computer to paddle tennis. Games are a safe place to fail and the more one fails the more one learns if one adopts a playful point of view.

 Bill Gates comments “Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.”  The great Tai Chi master Cheng Man-ch’ing urged his students to adopt a playful attitude and “invest in loss” He went on to say that the fear of loosing makes people hold on to old structures and ideas and that leads to rigidity and ultimate defeat. He was the embodiment of flexibility and playfulness. Even into his seventies he remained a peerless martial artist.

Here is an exercise to help see problems in a more playful light:

* Describe in one or two sentences a current problem (an example)  “we need healthier snacks during office breaks all we get are doughnuts”

* See the problem in your minds eye as a movie say a Western, Spy thriller, Musical

* Assign roles of hero, antagonist, supporting actors and bit players to the cast of real life characters

* How do you cast yourself…Hero, villain, or supporting player?

*  How are you and others dressed? What’s the dialogue? Where does the action take place? How is the problem resolved?

* Now recast the parts including your own part. If you were the hero, now play the villain etc… and run the movie in your head again pay attention to what happens next.

* What do you notice? What changes? How often do you find yourself playing the same role in every problem?

Let There Be Light

Many people understand the value of stories when trying to make a point. However when they get into high stakes negotiations they revert back to old beliefs that say “facts will win the day” or “the more facts the more professional my case.”
Here is a true story that challenges those old beliefs.

I was hired by an auto maker to help a senior designer present his new design to the CEO  for a final 57 million dollar decision. My client, Franz, was scared of the CEO and for good reason. The boss was called “the ripper” because he could gut a company faster than an angler could gut a bass. He also had a short attention span and was easily distracted during presentations. These rumors only heightened Franz’s anxiety.

Franz responded by adding more facts to his Power Point. Complicating all of this was that English was not Franz’s first language. I knew that if Franz was allowed to make this difficult to understand and lengthy presentation not only would his project get rejected but his career could be in jeopardy.

I challenged him to tell a story which would give meaning and context. I wanted to know what inspired his design. Where did he get his idea? Franz resisted and said it was not relevant. I kept coaxing him to reveal more than facts. Finally Franz coughed up his story.

He had flown all night to attend a meeting in London. He arrived early in the morning and rented a car. Franz was in meetings until 10:30 that evening. He was so exhausted he was having trouble finding his car. He couldn’t even remember what kind of car he had rented. The parking structure was old and poorly lit. Each dark corridor looked like all the others. Franz started wondering who might be waiting for him around the next corner.

To his relief he finally found his car and as he was driving back to the hotel he had an epiphany. What if he could just touch a button on his key chain and his car would be encircled with light. Not only could he instantly find his car but he would know that as he approached his vehicle, he would be safe.

I said that was a terrific story and what was his concern if he told it? Franz said it made him look weak and vulnerable. I replied that a great story is always bigger than itself because it points to deeper human themes. These themes can’t be replicated on spread sheets or power points.

A week later the CEO listened intently as Franz told his story. When Franz had finished his boss said “OK what else do you have for me?” Franz was puzzled and asked if his project was approved? “Oh my yes” said his boss.

Later Franz discovered that the CEO had felt that this idea could solve a big problem.
Women were buying less of the company’s cars. They felt that more vanity mirrors and cup holders were not addressing their core needs for quality and safety. The CEO knew that Franz’s idea was a powerful way to begin remedying these issues. His story worked in ways that no power point could. Powerful stories win the day by combining facts with emotions.

House of Glass

I resolved over New Years to go to at least one network meeting a week. This is more difficult than it sounds. I have a touch of Acrophobia.This makes me want to run away from densely packed rooms filled with people screaming to be heard. But I take my resolutions seriously.

The other night I went to a mixer sponsored by ideablob at a local bar. Ideablob is a site where entrepreneurs are encouraged and rewarded for coming up with great business ideas. The bar gleamed with hard and cool aluminum surfaces. The mirror polished floor glared out at me. Voices bounced off walls and floors to create a modern Tower of Babel. Bodies were so tightly packed and distorted it looked like they had been compressed by the oversized tire of a Texas u-haul.

At first I watched what was happening from the safety of the sidewalk. All I wanted to do was “Go Home” What finally helped me hold my ground and enter the fray was something I heard Ira Glass say. Ira is the creator of This American Life and is a national treasure, as far as storytelling is concerned. When Ira was beginning to write in journalism school his professor gave him the assignment of going to a local high school and interviewing “interesting students” Ira was perplexed and asked the professor how was he to find these students? His professor replied that he should go to the school cafeteria during lunch and simply watch and listen. Ira was instructed to ask himself “Who are the most vital people in this room?”  “Where is the energy coming from?” Once Ira had determined who and what was vital he would go to those people and start asking questions. To his amazement he found that the more he got out of his head and paid attention the better his interviews.

I applied the wise professors advise to the bar situation and not only found interesting people to meet but turned a miserable situation into a blast.

Here are seven steps I use to prepare myself for networking events:
* Before stepping into the room take three slow breaths from your abdomen
* Feel the ground under your feet
* Feel connected to the earth as you move thru the room
* Let go of the voices of judgment in your head
* Watch and listen to the whole room
* Go to the area of greatest vitality
* If you are feeling anxious, tired or unhappy repeat the steps again

SING-ALONG-TIME

This is the first thing I've seen or heard about the current meltdown that actually gave me an honest smile - Jon Stewart's take down of Jim Crammer was more a knowing leer for me.


This is a good example of what Bob is talking about in his last post. A person telling their story - songs are quintessentially facts wrapped in emotion - and reaching out across the net to a larger community in order to effect change. Hope you like it. If so, pass it on. A good story is a terrible thing to waste.

Fuel for Thought

Josh Tickell grew up in a place where you could fish in nearby streams and cool down in the bayou across a shady lane.  This was a place of abundance and beauty where neighbors served up mouth watering stews from local waters, then laugh and say “We eat everything that don’t eat us first.”

Things began to change. Josh watched the streams turn to sledge and the clear waters became so poisonous that most of the fish died and the ones that survived were too toxic to eat. The air turned the color of tar and stunk. Everybody got headaches and some become sick and a few died. Everyone knew what was going on.  The government did nothing more than put up a few signs warning not to fish or “Water unfit for swimming.” Oil refineries had come to Louisiana and Big Oil money kept politicians wealthy and silent.

These events deeply angered Josh who made a terrific film called Fuel. His anger motivated him to find alternatives to Big Oil. He spent his life documenting the rise of bio-fuels like corn, algae, solar, wind and ocean currents. He bought an old van and installed a diesel engine and fueled it with used vegetable oil he recovered from fast food restaurants. He drove across the country spreading the word about a cleaner way to power up.

What’s most gripping about Fuel is watching Josh change. Anger is a powerful motivator. It moved Josh to take action against Big Oil. Anger can also fuel wars. Bush/Cheney were able to harness the anger over 911 and use it to convince American’s to attack Iraq even though Iraq was not involved in 911. Sustained anger has a price. It causes burn out, apathy and depression. So Josh changed his strategy. “I stopped fighting from anger and I started looking for partners.” Maybe that’s what we all need to do. Share our personal story of hurt, betrayal, and rage. Next reach out beyond our hurt and connect with a community of partners and take action.