The Elements of Persuasion

The core of my book is about how to use the five elements to communicate compellingly But sometimes we don't have time to think about all five before we develop a story so then what do we do?

I suggest to my clients they start with passion or the fire in the belly. Describe a moment or event that you are excited about and if it is authentic, chances are the client or your boss will respond in a positive manner.

For instance, when I was working with scientists and designers to develop a new kids museum, my job was to help these adults think like children again. I though what could produce a common passion, which could create shared stories? What is something in nature we all have had experience with as children? The answer was bugs.

I brought a collection of creepy bugs to the meeting. Of course they were all in glass containters and covered under white sheets. At the right moment, I pulled the sheet away to reveal the insect world below.

Well, the scientsits and designers burst into stories about their childhood experiences with spiders, ants and roaches etc. Everyone was passionate about bugs and this helped people remember what it was like to be a kid again and that was the point of exercise. So find the common passion and tell a story about it. Then stand back and watch the sparks fly.

New Japanese Intro to Elements

Max, my writing partner, and I have been asked by the Japanese publisher of our book to add an introduction. I am posting it and look forward to hearing your comments.

There are five basic elements in every story - the passion or vitality with which it is told, the hero that allows us to enter the story and make it our own, the obstacle the hero must confront, the awareness that allows the hero to prevail and create something new. The fifth element of transformation occurs when the other elements have found their expression within the story. These five story elements are the same in every culture. As this book will show, these elements are literally hardwired into the human neuroanatomy and contribute to making each of us a human being. However, the way each culture expresses these elements is its own. This unique cultural expression is what gives our global marketplace its diversity and excitement. Cross-fertilization between cultures not only opens up new markets, it releases vital and potentially highly profitable ideas. What is the key to letting this happen? The universal need to tell a good story.

As an American teenager growing up in the car culture of California, Robert had an unusual ambition – he wanted to become a Buddhist monk and study Zen. So at 20, after a long trip from San Diego to Mishima city, he found himself on ancient stone steps leading up to Ryutaki-Ji Monastery. There under the guidance of the monastery’s Abbot, Soen Nakagawa Roshi, he began a life devoted to understanding the nature of Mind, and realized for the first time that story – in this case in the highly refined story form of Zen koans; was the key to unlocking the minds mysteries.

As a typical starving writer on the cold streets of New York City, Richard was a movie fan who had to make every dollar count. The Bijou Theater was just off Times Square. There he could see three different Samurai films for the price of a single admission. It soon became a warm second home. So it made sense that his first feature film, The Challenge, staring the great actor Toshiro Mifune  told the story of an American boxer who finds his true calling in a traditional samurai clan. The film was shot in Kyoto, and it was over dinner with Mifune that Richard came to fully appreciate the generous sense of equality that resides in the heart of all great story heroes. That recognition has remained central to Richard’s work, both in Hollywood and as a corporate consultant.

Though the examples used in this book are drawn from American Culture the story telling tradition in Japan is so rich and profound that we are sure our Japanese readers will supply their own examples drawn from their life experience. This will become easier as they become familiar with the five story elements. For example:

· The Passion that drives a story is nowhere more apparent than in the Bushido, which is so elegantly embodied in the writing, art and life of Miyamoto Musashi, or in Mifune’s performances in the Samurai Trilogy. We specifically deal with this is Chapter 2.· Understanding the role of the Hero in a corporate story is a key to developing brand identity. It is no accident that many of the worlds most exciting brands are Japanese, or that the theories of American consultant W. Edward Demming were embraced first in Japan as Kaizen or striving for perfection by Toyota, Honda, Sony and many other Japanese companies years before Demming’s ideas were adopted by American corporations. Demmings idea of encouraging every voice - from the factory floor to the executive suite – released enourmous creative power which made each worker a hero. This is a powerful way to build brand loyality- from the inside out.

· As an export driven economy, Japanese executives constantly meet new challenges as they struggle to overcome cultural barriers and penetrate new markets. The ability to see Obstacles as opportunities is crucial for Japan’s continued success. Now Japan is facing the ultimate obstacle – its own recent economic past. In chapters 6 and 7 we deal with the neurological links between memory and emotion. We suggest that conflict, which is often seen as a negative, can be used creatively to reinforce core values and increase capability.

· The most often misunderstood story element is Awareness. Awareness is nowhere more richly explored than in the Japanese concept of Shibui or the ability to reduce art, ideas and products to their essence. The intricate balance between form and spontaneity of Shibui lies at the heart of the tea ceremony, flower arranging, the Zen garden and the thousands of everyday and ceremonial acts that form Japanese culture. Shibui is a core reason why Japanese aesthetics and design are so universally appreciated and copied. Ultimately story is about creating a unique and welcoming space and here too Japanese culture is a fertile ground worth exploring.

· In a successful story the hero and by extension the audience must change otherwise there is no point to the story. The trivals of time and obstacles, excert a pressure on the hero to grow into something new and unimagined at the begining of the story. Good stories provide a vechile for transformation.

Following is an example of how an ancient tale helped transform Robert’s life: “I was very fortunate to study with Soen Roshi. He loved stories from every culture, but especially those from the most ancient theater-Noh. On very special occasions I would accompany him to see these great plays. Roshi would whisper into my ear just enough of the plot to help me follow along.

The first Noh play I saw with him was The Bird-Catcher in Hell. As the lights darkened and the actors began gliding across the stage and the ancient Gagaku music began, I soon forgot I was an American; I forgot

that I was in Japan; I forgot that I was watching a play; I forgot I was alive. In that ancient chamber in the middle of Tokyo I was transported to a place of wailing spirits and angry ghosts seeking justice. I became a ghost floating in the hidden world of Yama. Like the play’s hero, I longed to be released from the karma of inflicting suffering on others. I wanted to be transformed and I was. That was Roshi's gift to me. That is the gift of all great stories. They strip away everything extraneous and make us remember that we all share a common sacred space.

We sincerely hope this book will be helpful to our Japanese readers. And we hope that you, dear reader, will help us in our continued study of story. If you find this book helpful and its theory interesting please communicate your examples and insights to us by contacting our website www.theelementsofpersuasion.com We look forward to sharing your thoughts on story and culture.

We would like to express our deep appreciation for the painstaking work of our Japanese translators Yokoyama, Shigeru and Prof. Yamaguchi in making our work both understandable and entertaining. Thank you.

Open Book

Think not disdainfully of death, but look on it with favor; for even death is one of the things that Nature wills.
        Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

My friend Phil died a year ago today. His influence on my life is stronger than ever.  He was my equivalent of Tuesday’s with Morrie- Actually better because I was gaining Phil’s wisdom in real time-live from the tap.  All I had to do was walk a few blocks to his apartment and offer to buy him a cup of green tea.

Phil was a big man with a barrel chest, white hair and a deep and resonate voice. He loved chess and tutored any neighborhood kid who showed an interest. As a young man he became a Marine and the GI Bill paid for his education. He earned a doctorate in English and taught in universities and colleges up and down the west coast.  Phil had mastered many arts and was a great storyteller. The story that affected me most deeply was how he approached his death.

Phil was diagnosed with bladder cancer. His doctors offered to cut a big chunk out of his internal pluming. They told him he was likely to die within six months without an operation. Phil read up on the topic and discovered the likelihood of a life filled with post operative pain and infection.  Phil declined their offer. He said that living well was more important than living long.

  After his decision,  Phil’s behavior was the opposite from someone passively waiting to die. He changed his diet, began a disciplined meditation practice, took long walks in nature and read everything he could about non-invasive cancer treatments. He began to lose the Falstaff belly and his good humor returned.

He loved reading books from both Western and Asian wisdom traditions. His favorite philosopher was Socrates. Socrates' philosophy gave Phil a profound perspective on life and death. Phil grasped that real philosophy was much more relevant to life than a bunch of old guys debating obscure positions. He understood that Socrates was speaking clearly about life and death issues. Here is a quote from Socrates Phil liked to read, “Ordinary people seem not to realize that those who really apply themselves in the right way to philosophy are directly and of their own accord preparing themselves for dying and death.”

Phil amazed his friends as well as a couple of astonished doctors, because he didn’t die six months later or even 5 years later. He lived another 10 years. In that time he wrote two books of poetry, which he illustrated with photos taken while he was on his walks. Once, toward the end of his life, I asked him “what is it like to die?” He thought for a moment and smiled “It’s an interesting experience and not at all what I thought.” Phil lived the final part of his life as an open book rather than a closed chapter. He had great clarity and little need to turn away from what was in store for him. His curiosity and sense of inquiry changed fear into acceptance and acceptance into joy.

Franz vs The Ripper

The first time I saw Franz he was huddled in a corner of his office. He was a big man dressed in an expensive black suit. His long blond hair was pulled back into a ponytail. His face was downcast. He seemed to be looking at his flashy hand made boots but then I realized he wasn’t looking at anything.  He looked depressed and he admitted that he was scared. In less than 3 days he would be face to face with the CEO of his company. And his boss had acquired the nickname of “The Ripper” because he was known to gut companies faster than a fisherman could gut a bass.

Franz was a brilliant Austrian car designer, who had developed an innovative idea that could help save his struggling company. I had been hired to help him deliver his idea to his stressed out boss and at the moment the odds of success looked dim.

The more nervous Franz became the more information he added to his slide deck. His talk was titled: The Reflective Properties of Luminous Electric Cells and their Integration into Vehicular Design and ran 50 minutes in length. He wanted to go longer but thought he should devote 10 minutes for questions He had amassed over 30 slides of charts and graphs. Here are a few of the more interesting slide topics:

* Demographics and Psycho graphics of Potential Users
* The Role of Luminous Light on Sight
* The Historic Roots of Light as Crime Deterrent

I told Franz that if he gave that presentation it was unlikely that he would succeed and he could get fired.

 Then I asked Franz one question. "Where did you get your idea?"

Franz got defensive and said “it was not relevant” I challenged, cajoled and played the devils advocate until he realized that if there were any chance of success he had to tell his story.

Here it is:

 “I was flying all night from Los Angeles to Heathrow. I arrived early in the morning and rented a car. I drove to an unfamiliar part of town. I didn’t finish until 10:00 PM. I was tired, hungry and disoriented. I had forgotten where I had parked my car and in fact I couldn’t remember what kind of car I rented. The parking garage was old with bad lighting. Lights flickered on and off at every level. I kept wandering around looking for my car. I got worried that someone was going to hit me on the head.”

“Finally, I found my car. As I was driving back to the hotel I got this idea: Wouldn’t it be great if I had a button on my key chain and when I pressed it my car could be illuminated in light. Not only could I find my car but I would know that nobody was hiding in the shadows near my car. When I got back to my hotel room I made a few notes.”

When the CEO heard Franz’s story he said “OK, what else do you have for me?”  Franz was puzzled and asked did “OK” mean yes or no to his idea?  The CEO smiled and said “Yes Franz” that’s a good idea and let’s move forward with it.” That OK meant that a $57 million dollar project just got a green light.

Franz’s story moved the CEO to take action because it allowed him to feel what its like to be in another’s shoes. He felt what millions of women feel when they’re tired and vulnerable at night and all they want to do is safely find their way home.

And that’s what a good story can do.

How Stories Build Relationships

"It is my simple mission to help everyone in our company understand the power of a relationship.   In almost every account we have ever lost, it is due to the fact that we lost touch with the relationship." These words were spoken by a coaching client of mine, Barbara. She has recently been promoted to regional VP at a Fortune 100 company and her words should resonate with every person who wants to be successful.

Barbara is a business warrior who has learned that taking a little extra time with her clients over dinner insures her of a more successful relationship. “When I am at the dinner table I make it a point not to focus only on business. I find out what’s important to my clients. What has meaning for them? What are their life goals? And what keeps them up at night?”  Barbara builds and nurtures these relationships by being interested in her clients’ stories. “I do this because I know it builds trust.” Barbara is a fierce competitor when up against a tough opponent. She knows how to win and her use of storytelling is both pragmatic and effective. But why does her strategy work?

Resent brain research finds that the human brain is not so much a “thinking brain” but a relationship making brain. Dr. Herald Guther who leads the Dept. of Neurobiology at the Psychiatric Clinic of Gottingen, Germany says, “Until quite recently, it was held to be self-evident that human beings have a big brain to make it possible for them to think. However, the research results of the last years have made it clear that the structure and function of the human brain is especially optimized for building relationships. Our brain is thus much more a social organ than it is a thinking organ.” He goes on to say that a powerful way humans build relationships is by sharing stories.

Here are five tips for using story to build relationships:
* Tell an authentic story. One that exposes a vulnerability or foible.
* Tell a story that you are passionate about.  For example, your child hit her first home run; how you actually saved your client money by helping them overcome a problem.
* Tell a story of overcoming an obstacle. For example, you always had a fear of drowning but you overcame it during your rafting trip down the Colorado; you used to hate public speaking but you discovered you liked it when you learned how to rehearse first.
* Be sure to describe what lesson you learned from the event that helped you change.
* Include how you’re different now than before the event; think of this as “old you” and “new you.”

Stories build relationships by helping prospective clients see you as more than the title of “financial planner” or “tax attorney.” Authentic stories help you become a real breathing human being. Sharing stories establishes a common ground of trust and there is little question that clients turn to those they trust, especially when times are tough.

Five Paths to Persuasion

The most powerful way to persuade people is to tell them a story they will remember and tell again. Here is how to do it:

* Passion: Start by asking “what do I really care most about?” If you are passionate about your new idea, product or service chances are the audience will catch your passion the same way they catch the flu. Passion is a contagion and it spreads quickly. Your passion needs to authentic. If the audience thinks your acting solely out of self interest-you’re done.
* Hero: You are the hero. The hero’s job is to make the audience see what you see. Pull the audience into your world. Make them see your message from the inside out. Help them see it through your eyes and as if they were standing in your shoes.
* Obstacle: Define clearly the obstacle or problem facing your audience? How does your new idea help them overcome it? You and your new idea are the hero, mounted on a great white steed. , You have a lance in your hand and you’re charging ahead to slay the dragon. Before you charge make sure that you and your audience share the same dragon. Ask yourself “what is the dragon that keep me up at night?” does it keep my audience up as well? If you can slay that dragon you’re on your way to success.
* Awareness: Does your idea bring something new to solving the audience’s problem? What insights are imbedded in your message? What lessons can the audience take away and use again? Does your audience nod in agreement as you discuss your solutions or do they remain stone silent?
* Transformation: How will your idea change the audience for the better? How will they be different by using your idea? What is transformational about your message?

The more you can turn your message into a story the more likely your message will succeed.  Successful stories make an audience feel as well as think. This is crucial because as neuroscience has discovered; stories are easier to recall than facts alone because they implant themselves in our memory.

Keys to the Kingdom

I just got off the phone with Gary an unhappy friend of mine. He heads up a cutting edge architectural firm. He was disappointed to learn that his hand picked team just lost a big account, which they thought was in the bag.  Gary was granted a rare postmortem. The corporate reps said they really liked his designs. However they went with his competitor because they were blown away by their presentation.  “Your team appeared clunky and awkward. They gave us lots of data but no story.  When the other team presented they were having fun. They were graceful and they made us feels like we were involved in a beautiful ballet.” This is rare and invaluable feedback only given because Gary’s firm is held in high esteem. What are the jewels of wisdom to be recovered from the mud of defeat?

I know the members of Gary’s team. They’re all bright creative people and they work damn hard. All their effort was fruitless because they were doing what they had been taught to do in school.  Gary’s team was presenting a clear and logical thinking path without emotionally engaging their audience. Facts became weights around their necks. The more they struggled to be rational, the deeper they sank. What they had failed to do was to know and move their audience.

Great presenters study audiences. They understand what audiences want. What they want is what we all want; to be surprised; to be transported into another world. Successful presenters create an emotionally charged community where presenter and audience share a common experience. Facts alone can never transport an audience into the heart of the story. Passion and vitality are the keys to the kingdom.  The word emotion comes from Latin and it means “To stir up and to move” which is exactly what Gary’s team must learn to do in order to win the next account.

What Makes Us Heroes

This week is the twentieth anniversary of Tiananmen Square. For five weeks students from many Chinese Universities had collected in Tiananmen Square. They were peacefully demanding more human rights. The protests had been going on for over five weeks. The Chinese Government grew afraid they were loosing control.  On the evening of June 3ed 1989 Chinese officials sent in tanks and personal carriers. They broke up the protest by crushing and shooting students in their sleep. The next morning the Square was empty. The only thing that remained were the tanks. As they were attempting to move back to their base a lone man, carrying two shopping bags appeared in the middle of the road and blocked the tanks. People on the scene were sure he would be killed. Yet as mysteriously as he appeared he suddenly melted into the crowd and to this day he has never been identified.. Fortunately his courageous actions were recorded by journalists and what emerged is one of the most powerful and iconic pictures of the twentieth century. The picture is known as “Tank Man” and it has been reproduced millions of times around the world. This picture has been reported to change countless lives by inspiring others to take courageous actions. It inspired students in East Berlin to begin to destroy the Berlin Wall.
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What are the essential qualities that all heroes both real and fictional share? Heroes provide the audience with a clear point of view. In other words they take a stand. Or they expand their territory. Churchill took a stand against Hitler in 1939 when many other ministers wanted only to placate Germany. It was no accident that soon after taking his stand Churchill became Prime Minister. Another universal quality is that a hero’s actions are not primarily motivated by self interest. Joseph Campbell has said, “When we stop thinking primarily of ourselves and our own self-preservation, we undergo a truly heroic transformation of consciousness” (1948).

People don’t have to do spectacular things to be heroic. A close friend of mine is an example of an everyday hero. She works in the field of mental health. Everyday she faces frightened and angry patients, who can act in ways that make themselves and others miserable and ill. Facing that audience everyday and moving these people into a healthier way of life is heroic.  My friend is acquiring the ability to gently hold her ground as she guides patients toward greater self understanding and compassion. This is what true heroes do they help us remember what’s good about being alive and their actions point the way.

 

Terms of Endearment

Terms of Endearment is still a terrific film. It won 5 Academy Awards and even though it was made almost 30 years ago and it still stands up. John Lithgow plays the part of Sam Burns a very shy Iowa bank official. He falls in love with the married Debra Winger and has a brief affair.
Parts of the film were shot in the Midwest and the director used local extras. Lithgow says that before he was ready to shot his first scene he walked around town studying how locals behaved. He observed closely how they talked, walked and what they were wearing. By chance he met a local bank official. Lithgow began speaking with the banker when he noticed the shoes the man was wearing. They were two tone brown and cream wing tips. Lithgow new instinctively that they were the shoes he needed to wear. He told the astonished official that he needed the shoes immediately and paid a handsome price to the delighted man.

Lithgow said that literally walking in this man’s shoes helped him let go of the “sophisticated actor” playing a role. Lithgow wanted to become that banker from the inside out. He wanted to see and experience what his character was thinking and feeling.
In order to accomplish that level of empathy Lithgow had to let go of his own ways of behaving and walk a mile in another mans shoes. This letting go of one perspective and adopting another point of view gave Lithgow the freedom and power to express himself with authenticity. 

One need not be an actor to take advantage of this strategy. Changing perspectives helps people gain knowledge. The ability to see the world through an others eyes is a uniquely human skill and like any skill it needs to be practiced as much as possible.
So the next time you are in a quandary about someone else, take a John Lithgow moment.  Observe the person closely while suspending your own judgment. Be daring enough to walk in the other guys shoes.

Brain vs. Brawn

"It is my simple mission: to help everyone in our company understand the power of a relationship.   In almost every account we have ever lost, if we look back it is due to somewhere along the way we lost touch with the relationship."

These words were written by a coaching client of mine, Barbara, She has recently been promoted to regional VP at a fortune 100 company and her words resonate with the truth of experience. Barbara is a warrior who loves to move into the trenches with her people and get up close and personal when helping them solve problems. Barbara builds relationships not because she is  nice, kind, and compassionate. She actually is all of those things. She builds and nurtures relationships because she uses her brain. Barbara is a pragmatic warrior who has been through countless battles with competitors, clients and upper management. Her philosophy of relationship building is based on what works. Her strategy will beat out more aggressive, brutish approaches over the long haul every time. But why does her strategy work?

Resent brain research suggests that the human brain is not so much a “thinking brain” but a relationship making brain. Dr. Gerald Huther, who leads the Dept. of Neurobiology at the Psychiatric Clinic of Gottingen, Germany, says “Until quite recently, it was held to be self-evident that human beings have a big brain to make it possible for them to think. However, the research results of the last years have made it clear that the structure and function of the human brain is especially optimized for building relationships. Our brain is thus much more a social organ than it is a thinking organ.”

Our brain has evolved over millions of years and our closest ancestors, the great apes, have much to teach us. Apes will fight and even kill members of other tribes who try to invade their territory. However, when scientists observe these animals in the wild they report that for the majority of time these animals spend much more time cooperating then fighting. Great apes have learned that building relationships increases the chance of success for all members of the community. By cooperating and specializing on essential tasks like food gathering, rearing the young and watching for dangerous invaders, they all benefit.

Barbara is using her brain when she pays attention to building these interpersonal networks and she reminds her team that relationships take constant attention. She knows that especially in times of stress, building and strengthening relationships will win out over blame and got’cha behavior every time.